


Do you want this too? (More than anything)

by neighborhoodwitch



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: First Kiss, Kinda, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:58:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neighborhoodwitch/pseuds/neighborhoodwitch
Summary: Rowan doesn't want to regret this, he doesn't want to pretend he regrets it. Good thing he wont have to pretend.





	Do you want this too? (More than anything)

Everything burned, he on fire under the fingers skimming across his skin. Veins of gold were left behind as they traced his arms, his chest, his sides, his hips, his back. Rowan was sure he was glowing. Dry, demanding lips were pressed against his in a searing kiss. He reached up and knotted his fingers in the long golden hair as it fell around their faces. It was cold, he should have been cold with his minimal clothing after they shed the blanket from their bodies and let the movie fade to white noise.

He knew if he opened his eyes he would see strong, pale features and eyes ringed in gold. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see that. He turned his attention back to the warm mouth on his, the burning body beneath his hands. Except, his hands didn't feel overly large as they tightened on sharp hip bones. They fit perfectly in the grooves of hard muscles. There was a sharp tug against his short hair and he opened his mouth wider, submitting to the welcomed onslaught. 

As his fingers hit the soft fabric of the grey sweatpants there was a loud squeal by the door. He pulled away quickly and looked up. At the door was another wild mane of sunlight, Aelin’s small hand was over her eyes while the other was squeezed in a fist, probably to stop herself from squealing again.

“Aelin,” Aedion demanded from here he was still practically in Rowan's lap. “What are you doing in here.” Slowly he leaned back so they were across the couch from one another again.  
Rowan could see the other man's lips moving but all that filled his ears was a pounding. A thin streak of light filtered into the room from where Aelin left the door open and it bathed Aedion in its light making him glow the brightest. He watched as golden eyebrows furrowed but if felt like his head was stuffed with cotton, unable to take in the words being said. Aedion had a very regal nose he noticed, he must have been a prince in another life. A golden prince who walked with confidence and radiated love for the world around him. Blue eyes were still overtaken with gold and blackness as he glared at the third presence in the room. 

Rowan tuned back in just in time to hear the parting words between family. ‘Use protection.’ “Goodbye Aelin.” Aedion stood and shut the door with a snap and turned back to Rowan with his arms crossed. Suddenly he felt exposed, could feel Aedion’s eyes freely roaming over his bare chest.

He wanted to cross his arms, to curl into a ball and melt into the cushions. He stared at the other man who stared back, the silence thick and heavy in the room. The pressing weight on his chest was making it hard to breathe. He couldn't think. He couldn't speak, he wouldn't know what to say if he tried. So they just looked at each other in the darkness, only illuminated by the tv showing the end credits of a movie he doesn't remember.   
Finally, Aedion broke the silence. “I’m sorry.” Those words snapped something in his mind. Why was Aedion sorry? If anyone was to be sorry it was Rowan, he was captain and he knew better than to do something that could drive a rift between him and his players. Something like this. Was Aedion sorry that they had kissed? Did he regret it? Rowan didn't regret it, not at all, it had felt right to have his hands skimming across the northern skin and feel the coarse hair there.

“For what?” Was all he said simply, all he could manage. Any more words and everything might come spilling out which was something he could not afford. If Aedion regretted this Rowan would say that's ok, he would say it meant nothing to him, that they can just brush it off like the last time. Only the last time their veins had been pumping alcohol and there was nothing but a blurry memory in the morning. This time there was nothing to blame, this wasn’t experimenting for a party game or drinking too much, this was their own want and desire driving them. Everything he would say if Aedion regrets it would be lies, everything he really wants to say would be locked back up in a box and pushed deep down inside him where he could almost forget about it. He wouldn't forget about it, but it would be close.

“For kissing you. I know you don't like guys like that.” He said it like it was common knowledge, a fact. He guessed it was, he had never given any inclination that he like any other gender besides female. Hadn’t given any indication he really liked them either. 

He tried to speak, try to say everything that made him feel like Atlas with the sky on his shoulders. But his tongue became a stone in his mouth, crumbling to dust and taking the words with them. Instead, they rattled around his brain, teasing and torturing. But what if I did feel that way about guys? What if I felt that way about you? What if I got excited every time you lay your head on my shoulder? Or when we share a blanket? He looked up into blue eyes, swimming with annoyance at his silence and something that could have been hurt underneath it all. Did Aedion feel this way too?

He tried to speak again but his body refused to obey, so he just shrugged. Small and weak. “What's that supposed to mean?” Aedion, always quick to anger when he feels threatened. He had been this way in all the years they had known each other, gods Rowan loved it. Aedion walked around the back of the couch to retrieve his shirt that had been lost in the frenzy. The lines of his body were tight and rigid, Rowan knew what this meant because he had seen this happen a thousand times before. He was going to explode if nobody stopped him. An explosion of anger and pain and Rowan wasn’t sure he could watch it knowing he was the cause of that pain. He felt soft fabric press against the small of his back and strong hands traced up his arms. 

Lips brushed over the top of his spin, a feather-light touch so small he could have missed it if he wasn't so aware of the heat that radiated off Aedion's bare skin. With more confidence this time, lips were pressed against his small tattoo of a hawk in flight where it was inked into his skin. Closed mouth kisses that were nothing more than a brush of skin on skin worked their way to his neck. His nose in Rowan's silver hair he heard the question that he was too scared to ask. 

“Do you want this too?” Was muttered softly into his ear. Not trusting himself to speak he let out the breath had been holding and went boneless against the other man's chest. He reached around and pulled her faces together, foreheads touching. Gold and silver, blue and green. Once upon a time, he thought it would have been Aelin, now he knew thought that he and Aedion were here to balance each other out. They worked together, in a weird way he would never understand, they made sense.

“More than anything.” He breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you follow my tumblr you know how much I want more gay throne of glass content so might as well write it myself. I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you dont follow my tumblr you should defiantly go check me out @queen-aelin-ofthe-underworld cause theres always gay trash over there. If you want more gay stuff go over there to request it!


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